Eight: A reply

My Beloved,

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

It seems like its been forever since we last hung out-- since we last talked. The friendship we used to share now simply seems like a trace of an event, somewhere in a distant memory.

What happened to you? Why did you leave? Why did you forget? Why did you choose to say goodbye?

I told you once I'd always love you. I never thought I'd have to say it twice. But here I am, once again, begging you to believe me when I tell you that I love you... I love you more than love itself. I love you. You used to trust me when I said I'd never hate you. You used to believe me when I said I was proud of you. You held my hand like a child, trusting her father. You said you loved me, and I know you meant it.

But as minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days... New Year's rolled around, and our daily conversations turned to weekly, and then monthly appointments. I'd push the urge to cry away, telling myself that I wanted you to choose. I wanted you to choose me.

But you didn't.

Instead, I watched you cry over your broken heart, as if the salty tears could cure your wounds. I watched you toss and turn night after night, wishing the sun would rise. I watched you wrinkle your nose and hate yourself every time you passed a mirror. I watched you need your makeup and place a price tag on yourself each morning as you prepared to face the world. I watched you force a smile, choke back the tears, and give yourself away.

I watched and watched until my tears blurred my eyes.

And the tears came-- pouring out of the deepest part of me. And down came the healing rain. And I begged you to let me clean you. I begged you to let me enter. I begged you to break free and dance in this rain, in my rain.

Let me see your broken heart. I want to see all of the pieces. Stop thinking that I don't want to see them. I want to see you-- just as you are. All of you. Every piece of you. I don't want to see you whole, I want to see you real. You can't ever be too broken. Let me cure your wounds. Let my healing rain to fall on you... let it fall in and through cracks... let me break through the dams of fear you've built... let me flood you. Let me give you rest and teach you the kind of love that casts out fear. Let me break your shallow mirrors and show you how I see you. Let me tell you... tell you the price that was paid for you. Let me fix your smile, fill you with joy and give you back your wasted years.

I don't care where you've been. I don't care what you've done. And though you don't believe me, I've heard your whispered prayers each night. I'm here, and I'm just waiting for you to turn around. Stop trying to fix yourself.

Give me a chance to give your dreams wings.

Forever Yours.